6 months ago...

Six months ago yesterday, I gave birth to two amazing little girls that I had felt move and grow in my tummy...

Six months ago yesterday, I made the decision to try to save my babies lives because I knew they would make it...

Six months ago today, my babies were alive... I had the greatest hopes for their lives and never thought they would not make it... I remember seeing Shane arrive to the room at around 6 in the morning and going straight to the NICU to see the girls.  I was still in a wheel chair...

Six months ago today, the girls were doing good... The doctors and nurses did say that they were the smallest ones in there and that it would be a tough fight... But I never thought the fight would end so soon.

Six months ago tomorrow, the girls left us to go to heaven...

Six months ago tomorrow.... My heart broke when I loss both my girls on the same day... I still can't believe that this is my life... I have never felt such pain and yearning for someone(s) that I can't be with.

Six months ago... I loss my little girls... And with them, I felt my dreams and ambition drift away...

I miss my babies so much...

empty arms...

who knew empty arms would feel so heavy... i mean, how am i supposed to just move on? how do i enjoy the rest of my life with such a heavy heart...

the other day i dreamt of my grandma... i miss her so much.... i mean why? why does life have to be so sad? why do things happen to people like this? what have my family and i done to deserve this?

i'm not strong and i'm tired to trying to be strong... i don't want to have to be strong anymore... i just want to be happy... i want good and happy and exciting and everything i felt when i was pregnant with the twins...

today is a sad day.... and i am alone.... i would give anything to 'trade my soul for a wish...'

You never said you're leaving
You never said goodbye
You were gone before I knew it,
And only God knew why.
A million times I needed you,
A million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart you hold a place,
That nobody could ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you,
But you didn't go alone
For part of me went with you,
The day God took you home.
~Unknown