this week is when the twins would have been born. i would have reached my 36 week point and my twins would be full term... for this very reason, i ordered a "welcome baby girl" flower basket and picked it up after work... it smells so good and is so pretty...
it's amazing how the littlest things remind us of the babies... like on friday, i just got out of the shower when i heard the sounds of a soft cry coming from the other room... so i wrapped the towel around me and walked to Jazlynn & Jayden's room where i saw Jaz crying... i asked her what happened and she looked down and said nothing... so i repeated my self and she said she was thinking of the babies... she told me that today she was looking at her phone and saw that it was 05/04 (May 4th)... so it was 3 months ago that the babies were born... jayden and i both gave her a hug and i told her it'll be ok and that it was ok to cry and miss her sisters... we talked about the babies and how they are now 3 months old in heaven...
wow, has it really been that long... has 3 months passed by already?... it's already May...
today (sunday), the kids and i were cleaning the house when i realized that we had to go and pick-up some mother's day cards... i started vaccuming when my mind started to think about just that day... mother's day... it made me think of the babies... and it also made me think of just that word... MOTHER...
what a special privilage to be a mother... such a reward... not knowing how important your role is until something happens that makes you appreciate your own mother or your own children...
i started to think about mothers who have loss children... children who have loss mothers...
i thought about my own mom... and how this year, we will celebrate mother's day for my mom but how this year will be the first mother's day with out her mom... my grandma vivian passed away in december... we were all so hurt and sad by the loss of our grandma viv... and i know it hurts my mom even more... every memory is like little moments together that we keep so close in our hearts...
i thought, if i had one wish, any wish, what would i want for mother's day... and i knew within a second that this year, i wanted to spend mother's day in heaven (and then to come back, of course)... i could see my grandma and my babies together in heaven, just for one day... how that would be the greatest gift... to be able hold my precious babies in my arms even for just one day... for them to open their eyes and look at me, knowing that i am their mommy...
but since heaven isn't an option, i feel blessed that my little twins are in good hands... with my mom's mom... and we will celebrate the lives we know and those we've loss on mother's day...
May flowers... here's to praying for this month to bloom some new blessings into our lives...
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